


Flesh Flowers

by ijouno



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Captivity, Daang Arima is so hard to keep in character..., M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Stockholm Syndrome (?), WIP, blind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-28
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-02-19 04:36:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2374820
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ijouno/pseuds/ijouno
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Taken away from the beautiful fields of flesh flowers, away from his salvation, Kaneki found himself in the arms of the god death... a shinigami that isn't ready to let him slip away</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> My fill from the TG kink meme. The prompt was : "After overpowering him, Arima decides not to kill the strange Ghoul who spoke poetry to him, and instead takes him hostage, leaving him chained in his living quarters.
> 
> +Any time one of the other CCG members gets too close, he defends him violently"  
> I decided to make this fill a while to break from my writer's block I had for almost over a year (so much pain...)
> 
> P.S. English is not my native language (french is) so the sentences coherence might be a bit funky. Plus, I wrote this while really tired, which equals to writing drunk to me. So if I make any typo, please tell me in the comments

Darkness swirled through his mind, shrouding his thoughts in a pained confusion.  
He hurt...through his whole being...torn like the split earth after a quake, burning inside like the Gate of Hell...  
Where was this peaceful flower field of Death? Where were those beautiful scarlet petals blossoming in the dank darkness?  
He could smell them...  
That delectable overly sweet scent... the musky scent of flesh flowers and sweet red nectar.  
It flowed and trickled across the floor.  
The same delicious nectar was flowing from the deeps cuts in his body, leaving a macabre trail behind him.  
Color of the flower  
Has already faded away,...  
A hand was clamped around his ankle in a vice, dragging across the damp floor, like unwanted spoils of war, taking him away from his blissful flower field.  
His inside were tearing around the gaping hole in his abdomen, his brain felt scrambled and his left eye was pulverized and his right swollen shut.  
He was in death's arms...but somehow, she didn't nurse him to eternal sleep.  
She let him wallow in agony, a breath away from mercy, in the cold and merciless grip of his killer.  
Death was cruel...just as his mother.  
Completely uncaring of his pain.  
His mother never truly cared about him, she over worked herself for a sister that would never love her.  
The rich smell of the flower field was gone and replaced by the scent of petrichor.  
Was that tears falling onto his bloodied face? Was the sky crying for him? At least someone was mourning him...  
Would they...  
Faces appeared in his muddied mind, they were blurry, nameless but familiar... they would cry for him. He knew. He wondered where they were. Heart still beating or already in the sweet embrace he now desired.  
His broken body was loaded onto carpeted platform and a thick door slammed behind him. It roared to life.  
The low vibrations nursed him back into a deeper darkness, but not the one he wished for...

 

-

 

A sharp pinch under chin nudged him through the folds of unconsciousness. Something metallic and deadly. Groggily, he moved his head away and his skull thumped against the wall behind him, groaning.  
The pain that was searing through his body had receded from his abdomen and was still raging around his head, his brain still felt like dead muck dispersing his ideas into incoherencies.  
Kaneki tried to open his eyes, but in vain. The left felt like his lids had been melted together and right one opened onto a world darkness.  
The nether...  
A scent reached his flaring nostrils and he flinched at the pure pleasure that shook through his body. Kaneki could vaguely feel saliva slipping from his lips.  
He jerked forward, towards that alluring smell. Devour it, revel in it. He needed to heal...  
But he found himself slammed back on a wall behind him, by restraints constricting his entire back and torso and binding his wrists behind him shackles.  
The thing that had pinched his chin retreated and Kaneki was left in darkness and pain.  
Confused questions threw themselves around his head.  
What is this? He tugged weakly against his restraints.  
Where am I?  
Why am I here?  
What happened.  
Breath heaving and brows furrowed, he noticed the itch and the unnatural weight around his face... something was wrapped around his jaw and nose.  
He could breathe properly though.  
"Finally awake."  
Kaneki flinched back at the voice from where the enticing scent came from. His memory shifted and cleared.  
Him! HIM?  
Dread froze his chest. The shinigami didn't kill him. Why didn't he?! He had been completely at his mercy at his feet. Why didn't make Kaneki's fate the same as all the other corpses littering the sewers?  
...  
How did he know his name?  
"You should calm down, don't stress your wounds"  
"W--i...guu-ng"  
His blood froze at his own words and he coughed on his breath. His own words refused to cooperate, the message sent from his brain corrupted. His was heavy and could barely move inside the thing that covered his mouth.  
"W-wu-ai?" he tried again  
"Why?" the shinigami asked, voice flat as the icy plains of Hell. "Why I haven't finished you? " There was a pause, Kaneki nervously swallowed as he heard the man shift towards him and felt warm fingers cup his chin and lift his head higher -pain lanced through his skull- "I have seen many ghouls on the throes of death... none of them recited poems... You really are something special"  
Kaneki kept silent, not knowing how to react. He certainly didn't remember that part.  
"...shame to keep it covered."  
A finger gently caressed the underside of his jaw, under the muzzle. Kaneki's face reddened at his words, but dread fell heavily deep into his stomach. There was slight emotion the voice...making it far more scarier than his flat one. He jerked away from his touch, groaning when his head was jostled.  
His captor made no comment, the half-ghoul heard him rummage through something, a tray according to the sound of clinking.  
"Open up."  
He didn't have the time to voice his confusion because a straw slipped whatever covered his face -he now thought it might a muzzle- and poked his chapped lips. It smelled like coffee. Obeying the silent order, Kaneki hesitantly sipped the drink. It was indeed coffee. Black, bitter and hot, but there was a tang of something disgusting, like fish guts close to rotting...  
Was that ghoul meat!?  
Before he could stop drinking by himself, the dove pulled the straw away and made no comment on the half-ghoul's confused and stricken expression. Kaneki wanted to ask him where he got the ghoul meat he put in his drink. He knew the CCG had managed to get hands on a few ghouls, but never thought they would chop them for food purpose. Quite the irony.  
Kaneki wanted to ask about the myriad of questions that danced around his head, but he didn't trust his mouth's cooperation. He stayed silent as his captor dressed his wounds with fresh bandages. Kaneki grimaced at the grimy sensation of the caked blood being pulled away with the soiled cloth. Something was kind in the gesture, almost reverent. And it churned Kaneki's fear even more.  
What did he truly want from him...


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shorter than the last chapter because I wanted out as soon as possible.
> 
> \----------------------------

Arima Kishou came back the next day, or at least what felt like a day. He never talked much, but when he did it was to calm the half-ghouls when he became stressed when his captor got near his wounds. It never soothed him though. Hate and frustration had churned in his guts since he took him here.  
He took away his freedom for shady reasons, away from Anteiku, and kept him restrained, barely allowing him to move.  
All this frustration boiled to the point where the Shinigami got near his ears, cleaning his face: Kaneki snapped at him behind the muzzle.  
His cheek was still chaffed from hitting the floor when the dove pinned him down, hissing a warning that didn't fall on deaf ears.

After being thrown into a daze, his mind being even more muddied after hitting the ground, Kishou took advantage of his placidity and manhandled the ghoul the way he wanted. He stretched and flexed Kaneki's sore limbs and joints from their previous skirmish and his immobility.  
His body slowly found rest through the days and his mind cleared bit by bit, but still hurt like a horse kicked him the face.

"Keep your eyes closed"  
"Uun...?"

He obeyed the command. He was finally able to move his right eye, but his left one felt like it was non-existent. It worried him greatly.  
Careful hands pried the bandage away from his face, pulling at the caked blood. Kaneki grimaced at the sensation. A clean cloth dabbed around his eyelids, washing away the blood, sweat and pus. The cleaning done, the half-ghoul opened his right eye.

" C-ant see."

The nether was the only thing before his eyes.  
He flinched when hands pressed around his eyelids to opened them wider. The silence that followed was short but incredibly heavy.

"Wait a moment."

The dove stood and left. Kaneki swallowed nervously and fidgeted against his shackles which clinked eerily in the silent space he was in, and the padded vest crunched when he moved. He wasn't sure what it was, but it seemed to be related to kagunes as it covered where and Ukaku would sprout to the lowest point of his back, where a Bikaku would be.  
Muffled through a wall, he could hear the Shinigami rummage through drawers and the thumps of his steps came back. He crouched in front him.  
Kaneki heard a soft clic and felt something swipe in front of his face.

"Your eyes are reacting to light" -so that thing in front of his face was a flashlight...- "You have no nerve damage, so it might just be psychological blindness..."  
"p-shee-col...", he coughed.  
"Psychological blindness. Your brain is blocking the feedback from your eyes."

The fingers returned to his face to check out his left eye... or his orbit -he couldn't tell- He flinched and growled when the digits pressed a little too hard in the tender skin. Kishou fingers clenched around his jaw as a warning and Kaneki felt a new surge of hate pool into him.  
He cursed his brain damage, cursed his situation and cursed the damn abomination who apparently had interest in him.

If only he could see that bastard's face so he could aim a kick at him while the half-ghoul smiles gleefully.

Just wait...

He will get vengeance...  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
Before it's too late...


	3. Chapter 3

A plot, its edges fuzzy in his broken mind, was slowly sketching itself. Thought and pondered upon during the long days spent in cold silence of the CCG's Reaper's lair when the man was away for work and eating out -he never smelled cooking-.

He half wondered what this man's life was like. Probably better than the crap he was living right now, Kaneki thought. His chest throbbed with rage and hate.

He heard the front open. The Shinigami had returned.

Kaneki straighten himself, back flat against the wall, or as much his shackled hands behind him allowed him to. He took a deep breath and willed his emotions to recede. He had to appear calm and bored. Otherwise his plan wouldn't work.

Footsteps travelled all around the neighbouring room, stuff were thrown on furniture - _a coat on the sofa?_ \- and the TV was turned on, he could hear the fake laughters of a talk-show. The Shinigami briefly paused in front of the room he was kept in before entering. A waft of fresher air puffed into between the four walls.

"I'm back." he said calmly. His voice sounding drained. So it had been a long and hard day.

"Mm"

He couldn't bring himself to give a more elaborate reply, nor that his mouth would have cooperated correctly anyway. He had tested his mouth for a few hours each day and it had gotten better, his brain was healing correctly. He doubted he could hold a conversation though.

Hands reached around his right leg for his daily "exercise". He allowed the dove to manhandled him reluctantly. The man paused noticing the curious shift in the ghoul's behavior.

"You're awfully quiet today..."

Kaneki swallowed nervously. He hoped his change of behavior would be gradual to fool the dove, but he hadn't expected his acting skills, as Hide called it, to fail him so quickly.

"...I-I'm bored...days too long...".

The man hummed after a pause and proceeded to stretch and flex all the other limbs of his captive. With frustration weighting down on his guts, Kaneki had to admit it felt good to have thumbs working out the kinks and knots in his sore muscles and found himself relaxing underneath the warm hands.

"Are you in pain anywhere else?" he asked while massaging his stiff shoulder joint. Kaneki debated if he would stoop down to be completely obedient in his act yet. But _god_ , he couldn't endure the muscles in his back right now. The muzzle around his jaw weighted down his head, pulling muscles in his back all day, especially when he napped during the afternoon.

"Lower trap-ezius."

A hand slipped down his back, from the collar of the strange vest, to the sore point near his spine. He pressed down.

"Here?"

The ghoul hummed in approval and ducked his down, cheeks aflame. This was getting way too intimate. He could smell the satisfaction emanating from the man. He wished he could bite it off his skin.

It's like the man was keeping him locked up as a trophy to admire, to polish, to...

_Oh no_...

That's what he wanted to do with him!

He could already feel imaginary hands crawling all over his skin, caressing every nook and cranny of his person, mapping his being... like some kind of lover. He shuddered in disgust.

"What is it?", asked the Shinigami, his voice slightly tinged with worry and curiosity after he felt the ghoul shiver under his hand.

"What...this _f_ ing on mah back?" Kaneki changed the subject. Or maybe the investigator would interpret his reaction as fear about the contraptions wrapped around him.

"A Quinque Vest, the light model," he replied. "They're mostly used in Cochlea when we have to move ghouls around, outside their cells." he continued when he noticed that the ghoul was waiting for more. " They are filled with Kagune shards, mostly from Ukakus."

He placed his thumb and index on each side of the vest's thickness and lightly pressed down. Kaneki heard a distinct _crackle_.

"If a ghoul were to take out their Kagune, they would rip through the Vest and the shards would shred their hunting organs to ribbons. It gives enough time for the investigators and guards to deploy their Quinques...until the ghoul heals enough to sprout out a new one at least."

The silence and the weight of a cold pair of eyes on his face, told him the man was inspecting his reaction.

"It's extremely painful, or so I've heard."

The man stood up, sighing.

"I'll get you your drink."

Kaneki was satisfied, the sketch in his mind had solidified a bit. He finally knew what to expect when he would break out of his bonds. Knew what pain to expect.

It couldn't be worse than what he had been through... And in the meanwhile, even though he was disgusted by it, he could probably take advantage of what the dove  planned to do with him.

But first...

"Arima-san..." The man stopped before he could leave the room. "Y-ou said... could get back mah eyes... could help me?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was supposed to be longer, but I felt like it was better to cut it there and wow, it's hard to keep Arima in character when we don't know anything about him DX
> 
> And if you're wondering to what level Arikane it will get, I'm not an Arikane shipper (I ship Amoneki really hard) and I'm afraid of OOCness.  
> So the most Arikane it will get is cuddling/fluff... or maybe a kiss if I feel like it and it's not OOC. Sorry if I disappointed anyone :/
> 
> PS: yes Arima does take Kaneki to the bathroom each day XP


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *yawn* Wow, I had a crazy exam period and I lived mostly on nerves, studying and sobbing for weeks! And it's still not over and I have to find myself an University while I'm juggling with my work schedule. I'm getting busy! (Is this the thing called adult life?)  
> Anyway, this chapter down below was written in less than a day, so I'm sure a few typos slipped through. Feel free to warn me about them :)

Kaneki fidgeted nervously, cracking his fingers to diffuse the tension that pulled on his muscles.  
Arima had moved him to a new room for the first time, not counting the daily trips to the bathroom, and the eerie and unfamiliar ambiance unsettled him. Everything felt alien. It sounded larger and it was faintly echoing the man steps as came to sit beside the ghoul on the sofa. Kaneki tensed and had the urge to make himself smaller. The silence was short lived.  
"I'm no psychiatrist", the dove began, voice wary. "But I have an idea of what to do."  
Kaneki frowned. This wasn't starting so well. His thing better work so he can win back his eyes and escape this god damn forsaken place.  
"I think that in your case, opening up would help."  
The ghoul stared in Arima's general direction, jaw slack.  
Wait!? Did he seriously expect him to openly talk about his feeling like they were some lovey-dovey couple? That man had stabbed him through the head, sequestered him, keeping away from all of friend that need his help. Who knew if they were safe and sound? Who knew if they were still alive!  
Kaneki's voice tangled itself mid way down his throat.  
"N-never m'going to talk to you like that," he hissed. "You don't understand what I lived!"  
His anger was rearing in his chest, urging him to lash out and welling pearls of tears on the seams of his eyelids. He breathed deeply through his nose, heart thrumming in dread.  
Crap...so much for my act.  
Hide always said he was a good actor. It seemed his act failed to his emotions for the first time.  
Hide...  
The Shinigami sighed and the paused silence gave the ample time for Kaneki's barely held in panic, to settle in for good. He hoped he hadn't blown everything.  
"I hate working at the CCG."  
Kaneki was surprised, he definitively didn't know where that came from.  
"More like, I grew to despise it through the years. True, I save hundreds of lives. Citizens and colleagues alike. I've been decorated thanked by men and women of influence, almost worshiped for my services. But not me. I'm just a figure to be idolized. My colleagues keep me apart, I'm too different. They can't understand me...  
The following silence left Kaneki feeling suspended in nothingness, eyes into darkness and confusion clouding his mind. He had now expected the man to urge the ghoul to spew out information about him... not the other way around!  
Why did the Shinigami wanted to talk to him like this? A humane monster that tore ghouls, innocent or not, to shreds without an ounce of pity. Was it to gain Kaneki's trust? Because he thought Kaneki was unique like he said when he first woke up in this nightmare.  
"I will spare you the long version of my story," the dove said, with the hint of a nostalgic chuckle. "What I'm truly interested in is your story. Tell me..."

\-- 

Kaneki shifted for the umpteenth time on his thin futon, his sore joints cracking. He sighed and rubbed the tiredness from his face against the mattress. He was plagued by nightly pondering. It took forever, but Kaneki caved in to his captor's interrogation, he responded with very little detail and outright refused to talk about what he felt during the loss of his mother, living with his aunt and being kept in the Aogiri Headquarters. He feared that the man connected the dots anyway. He probably did. Kaneki tried the best he could to shut away the words of the dove.  
Fear. Fear was gripping his insides. He feared the way doubts bloomed. That...cursed man was changing him. He was winning, putting him underneath his thumb, making him his docile trophy. But... there was no way he could be right!  
From the disaster he went through with Yamori, it only got better. He had seen how wrong he had been. He had finally moved on from the vision of the world his mother gave him: It's better to be hurt than hurt others. As much as he loved her, she had been wrong and it led her to the grave. She couldn't choose between her own flesh and blood and that wench, that book destroying wench!  
That is why he made a choice. He chose to give everything for his friends, to protect them from this broken down world.  
A sob shook his throat and his eyes watered.  
He couldn't be wrong! Not again...  
He turned a deaf ear to the doubtful ideas swimming around his mind, humming instead an ode to his convictions.  
I'm doing it for Touka-chan  
Hinami-chan  
Banjou-san  
Tsukiyama-san...  
The door to the room he was kept in slid open and muffled footsteps came in. Kaneki froze. What the heck was the dove doing here in the middle of the night? Did he keep a monitor in the room so he could hear any small disturbances? Surely.  
"You realized it, didn't you."  
The question mark was absent from the drowsy tone.  
"You weren't acting for the sake of your friends... but for yourself."  
Kaneki sent a "glare" in the direction of the man. He felt the urge to howl all his anger at him, claw his face with words, but he couldn't slip again. His act was still precarious after his melt down earlier that day.  
"The reason you're playing the hero is because you're terrified of being alone. You lost your family too young for any child, your aunt showed you no love, classmates ridiculed you... Your life changed for the worst: you lost your humanity."  
Kaneki was shaking, tears were soaking his bandages and running down his cheeks.  
"The reason you want to escape this place so much is because you feel alone..."  
"S-SHUT U-uP!"  
A wail split is throat, coming deep from his lungs, stirring up all the bottled pain from his body.  
"You don-not... underst-t" he coughed and jaw opened on a silent sob and curled on himself, hiding his soiled face.  
Hinami is an innocent girl who didn't deserve all this sadness and cruelty. As much as she said she deserved to be hunted, Touka knew about pain as much as their little sister and should be protected from it.  
All of his friends were the proof that goodness could still live on in a world where people hurt, kill, tear others apart out of misunderstandings and fear of the unknown. He was doing this to protect this tiny flickering flame that might die at the slightest gust of cold wind.  
It was to protect them.  
He couldn't bear to lose them and find himself...  
Alone.  
Warm arms held him up and Kaneki was enveloped in more warmth, a thrumming heart against his ear and calloused fingers softly slipping through the messy bangs of his sweat drenched head.  
Kaneki cried at his pain, at his fear, at the humiliation of being in the arms of his enemy and at the long forgotten memory of what his mother's embrace felt like.

.  
.  
.  
.  
.  
.

Far above the dark fields of flesh flowers, the obscuring but beautiful clouds were torn to shreds by the harsh wind, disappearing like feeble wisps of smoke. The blood red petals flew away like a flock of hummingbirds. The hypnotizing scenery shimmered and transformed...  
A radiant sun took the throne in the sapphire blue sky, shining down upon a field of lavender.  
He could see.


	5. The World Seen Through the Glass

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Fragile Lynne for beta-ing me. My poor exhausted brain had decided to use French sentence structure for this chapter and without her the writing would have been messed up :/

It felt like all his senses were firing through his brain. His hearing and sense of smell had increased tenfold in his days spent in darkness, but now his eyes could finally see.  
The room he was kept in was a small but cozy study that was shrouded in shadows -Arima had lowered the blinds- and the walls were lined with full bookshelves.  
It reminded Kaneki of his own apartment... but cleaner...  
His eyes roamed continuously across every surface, examining the grainy texture of the desk, observing that the notes pinned to the board on the wall were like leaves and how the books created a rainbow with their colourful bindings.  
Today was an important day, Kishou had promised he would take him out of this room for the first time. Once the dove comes back from work, he'll free Kaneki from his shackles and will finally be able to move around the house... and plan an escape route.  
That was when he heard the front door open.

\--

A window of sunlit fire seared itself painfully deep into his retinas, making him squint and flinch back. He had been trapped in the dark study for so long he thought he must have forgotten what light was like.  
Kishou's grip left his arm and Kaneki remained still as a statue, blinking back tears from his sore eyes.  
The blurry contours of a spacious living room drew itself before his eyes. It was bathed in a golden evening light. The decoration was fair and the furniture tidy, western style. A large flat television was crowning one wall, a low table, ottomans and a sofa grouped around it. The front door was to his left just beside the ottoman that faced the television.  
The trek between the study and the door was short.  
Kaneki fiddled nervously with the quinque jacket, not knowing what to do with his hands, clearly afraid of touching anything in this lion den.  
A wafting smell of coffee touched his nostrils, making his mouth water. Turning around, he could see his captor's back in a modest kitchen, preparing the hot drinks. Kaneki saw him pouring a small quantity of a viscous dark red liquid in a teaspoon.  
 _So that's what he has been feeding me?_  
Preferring not to keep his eyes on the man, he went to peer out one of the windows, gazing down upon a suburban street.  
Across the road was a park covered in trees. Two children were playing in their shade, their mother keeping a watchful eye on them.  
Kaneki's stomach growled.  
Something warm nudged his hand and Kaneki glanced down at the new mug of coffee in his hand.  
"Before you make a grave mistake”, Kishou murmured before walking away.  
Kaneki groaned and slipped the straw between the bars in his muzzle, calmly sipping his drink.  
The TV blared to life, sounding the News channel jingle behind him.  
"The controversy continues: After the catastrophic battle between CCG investigators and a ghoul organization in the 20th Ward, many call for the sacking of the operation's leaders."  
Kaneki's eyebrows rose in surprise and he turned towards the TV Arima was sitting in front of while reading a book.  
Kaneki shuffled closer, attentive.  
"...In the end, the operation of dismantling a ghoul group in a 20th ward's café, was proven to be completely fruitless when the SSS ghoul, identified as Owl, the very same one the investigators were trying to lure out, completely overwhelmed their forces."  
A blurry, pixilated picture appeared beside the announcer's face.  
 _What is that THING?_  
The silhouette was grotesque, something pulled straight out from a Hollywood horror movie. Skeletal frame, gaunt greyish colour, single eye, gaping maw with a rolling tongue...  
That thing was a ghoul... a kakuja... something he almost became...  
Disgust left a vile taste in his mouth.  
"Proving the CCG’s incompetency at sizing the enemy, a newly identified SS ranked ghoul appeared on the scene, named Centipede by the investigators-" Kaneki perked up at this, taking his attention away from his coffee- "-and only a small handful of the CCG staff knew about this target and that decision endangered dozens of other investigators."  
A new picture took place on the corner of the screen and the disgust Kaneki had tasted before transformed into shock.  
A mess of tangled, white damp hair, a bird-like onyx mask, an inconspicuous third eye on its forehead, a blank right eye and a kakugan activated in the left one, a frayed, dual-like rinkaku flaring behind as it charged towards the camera.  
He could barely process that it was indeed him on the screen.  
Kaneki never truly understood what happens when his kakuja takes over. Everything becoming hazy in a dream-like fashion and rendered mad by the excited frenzy of devouring. He had somewhat expected himself to look like Yamori's kakuja form... but this...  
 _Monster… Centipede…_  
Unlike the Owl, his picture was clear as day, showing his snarling face and the pure horror of it.  
Who had the bad luck of crossing his path? Have I killed anyone? Amon...  
The picture faded out, to Kaneki's relief, and the interview with the ghoul expert Hisashi Ogura took its place.  
Kaneki could feel eyes weighing down on him while he remained dumbstruck.  
Arima was staring at him through the gleam of TV reflecting in his glasses, face emotionless, but a tinge of curiosity animating his cold eyes.  
"Not expecting to have your face plastered across the media?"  
"D-did I...I..."  
"They haven't released your name if that's what you're worried about."  
"Have I...killed anyone? " Kaneki choked out, staring into his captor's eyes. He could see the reflection of his own terrified face in those grey irises.  
Arima sighed and flipped another page of his book.  
"That picture was taken by the wire-less camera Amon Kotarou was wearing. Every investigator has them on their helmet during the operation. It was the last data we received from him."  
Kaneki felt his guilt rise. His memory from that time was drowned behind a curtain of madness, but he remembered trying sooo hard not to kill Amon.  
I am a killer.  
"All we found on the scene where you two clashed was Kotarou-san's arm"  
"H-huh?"  
He vaguely remembered injuring Amon's arm, but he had been too distracted about nursing his wounds and trying to escape.  
 _Why did they only find his arm?_  
"What was your relation to him?" Arima asked, closing his book. "What was he to you?"  
Kaneki fidgeted and scratched the annoying itch behind his muzzle.  
"He... I don't know." Arima wasn't impressed by his reply."...He seemed lost and in doubt, just like I was. He had lived through pain and betrayal... I did too. I thought I could find someone to relate to..."  
Arima quietly sighed, stood up and handed him the TV remote.  
"You have an hour of free time."

\--

 

The clock was ticking alongside the thrumming of his heart, measured, in perfect control... His ears perked at every sound in the sleepy house hold: the regular hum of the fridge, the purr of the heating system by the window, the sporadic cracks in the walls... the soft breathing of the god of death in the next room...  
Kaneki pulled against his shackles: it was time.  
His heart jumped in his throat and his eyes narrowed in pain when the metal bit deep into his skin, down to his bones.  
He'll be at Anteiku soon, or wherever Touka, Hinami, Banjou or Tsukiyama lived. He'll be home!  
His hands slipped free, bloodied, raw and stinging. The shackles jingled like bells when they fell the floor.  
 _HURRY!_  
Rushing to the door, he could barely strangle his scream of agony as he pushed his kagune out of his body. The Quinque Vest tore with a terrifying rip and daggers hotter than the pits of hell slashed across his kagune, shearing holes in the soft muscles and making the ruby tendrils spasm on his back.  
The pain made him stumble onto the door where he landed with a loud thud. He breathed deeply and shook away the haze of pain that clouded his mind.  
A flurry of feet stomped across the house.  
With a panicked yell, Kaneki arched his newly formed kagune and shakely dug it through the door. He rushed into the living room, fighting through the splinters of the door. He vaguely saw the dove that uttered his name as he clicked open a briefcase.  
He didn't aim for the door, but the window that he could see the streetlights through. A shining beacon to freedom.  
The pain didn't register as he hurled himself through the glass and shards burrowed deep into his skin. He just thought about the home he would soon return to. He would return not out of loneliness, but out of duty. He would repair his mistakes.

He disappeared into the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't panic! it's not over!


	6. Phone Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late chapter: College was a roller-coaster and I was trying to save my semester.
> 
> Warning: unbeta-ed and my exhausted brain didn't want to double-check it. It shouldn't be that bad though.

Running like the demons of hell were nipping at his heels, he did his best ignoring the fire that raged in his lungs.  
He ripped the tattered remains of the Quinque Vest and threw it in a hedge.  
After running for who knew how long with meeting anybody in the suburban streets, he ducked into a narrow alley when he neared downtown. Kaneki fell behind a dumpster in a tangle of tired limbs.  
Oh, it hurts...It's been weeks since he moved properly, his joints were burning and his muscles atrophied and shaky. He was certain he couldn't move from the spot where he collapsed now that adrenaline washed away.  
Heaving like a racing horse, Kaneki let his head rest against the brick wall and stared at the city's starless night sky.  
He was free.  
As much as the dove helped him the end, he never would have offered him a home.  
His home was Anteiku and he would come back home and repair his mistakes.  
But first he would have to contact Touka and the others as the coffee shop was probably under constant surveillance since the battle. He couldn't simply waltz in there hoping everything was like before.  
Sighing, his fingers roamed across the surface of the muzzle searching for a latch. He found one secured by a lock and he didn't have a key. Grunting, his hand returned at the bars in front of his mouth and he started pulling furiously. The metal gave out with an audible snap and the recoil made his head smack against the wall.  
Massaging the back of his bruised skull, he then proceeded the tear the leather that framed his jaw. His tired fingers proved to be useless and he finished the job with the sharp tip of his rinkaku.  
He let his eyes gaze out on the sliver of the street that appeared at the end of the alleyway. Here there were people laughing, talking on their phones or their friends, simply enjoying the nightlife. It seemed like a different world, lighten up with colorful neon while he crouched in a dark, dingy backstreet.  
The life of a ghoul.  
Feeling rested enough, he stood up, his hand lining the wall. He ignored the odd stares on the streets. Arima never dared to change his shirt while he was wearing the Vest but had gotten new change of pants, so he assumed he looked filthy.  
But first, he had to find a phone.

\--

Telephone booths were sparse on the streets of Tokyo and didn't have any yen on him. Most businesses were closed this late and he wouldn't dare trying to enter clubs to request for a phone.. He didn't trust himself that he would resist biting an intoxicated person that'd clung to him. The drinks Kishou served him were only to curb his hunger, just like the sugar cubes did. Not to mention that no one listened to him on the street.  
So he looked for a 24h fast-food chain, hopefully they wouldn't remember his face amongst the torrents of customers they saw each day and could help them to find where he was exactly. His white hair might even go unnoticed among the "colorful" youngsters.  
Once he noticed a large glowing yellow M above the heads of the crowd. he headed there with a brisk pace. The restaurant was empty but for a small group of drunk friends.  
"Welcome" greeted the cashier with a small bow of her head.  
"Umm... I'm not here to eat... I need to make a call.  
The cashier made a small "oh" and after Kaneki explained he didn't have any money for the nearest booth, she fished a cell phone out of her pocket. Workers weren't supposed to have them when working, but oh well.  
Racking his brain and memory, Kaneki typed in Touka's number. It rang till he ended on her voicemail.  
Frowning, Kaneki then tried Tsukiyama's and Nishio-senpai... nothing again. They were usually fast on replying.  
He gave the cashier back her phone once her manager finished talking to her privately.  
"Thanks", he uttered.  
"Are you sure you're well? You look a bit pale."  
He chuckled and played along.  
"I know, I ran away from a clingy ex."  
"Hmm, I'm familiar with that."  
Kaneki was surprised when she slid a small box of nuggets towards him.  
"It was in over. You can eat them. It's better if you don't faint on us."  
He refrained himself from outright refusing food, but something told him he better act like a human. The way the manager looked at him asserted that feeling.  
"Thanks."  
With that, he stop his breathing for a second, just enough to not smell the nugget that he slipped onto his tongue.  
It was still gross.  
A powdery mush wrapped in sandpaper.  
He braced his face with a smile and murmured a small thank you and then left the restaurant. What was he going to do: he couldn't contact anyone from Anteiku and he wasn't in the 20th. Looking at the street signs he deduced he was in the first ward: home of the doves and where the ghoul population was nonexistent.  
His stomach gave a unpleasant lurch, Kaneki threw the box of nugget in the trash and found a new dark alley to threw up into.  
That really was disgusting.  
Ignoring his queasiness, he tried to orientate himself through the maze of streets and boulevards. He needed to get out of this ward as quickly as possible and find other ghouls.  
He hoped they wouldn't recognize him. Eyepatch was quite famous for preying on ghouls and he feared they wouldn't cooperate with him for it.  
His attention returned on the crowd around him, strangely enough, it had suddenly thinned and the traffic had dispersed, but he was still on a main artery.  
 _Why did--_  
Siren's wails split his sensitive eardrums and flashes of red and blue colored the street, making the windows of skyscrapers shine like a kaleidoscope. A crackling voice boomed through a megaphone . He couldn't understand what it was saying through the chaos that shook the street. People were fleeing, shouting in panicked voices. It was only then that he realized they were running away from him and that only when he was alone on the street that he could finally read the huge print on the cars:  
CCG.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not sure if fast-food employees would give a small quantity of food to an "ill" customer. They would give water for sure... When I was ill there, they gave me nuggets... but I work there so...
> 
> See ya next chapter


	7. Gunshot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written from my Ipad (a terrible typing device) while I'm vacation with an unstable wi-fi, done quickly just so I could release something for Xmass.  
> So yes there might a lot of typos and I'll reupload a corrected version once I'm back in Canada.  
> Enjoy the chunk of text (Ipad formating)!

The air cracked like thunder split the sky, the bullets exploding out their shells, nearly ripping Kaneki's eardrums. The balls of hot iron dashed inches away from his face, making the half-ghoul flinch and twist out of the hail of iron .  
The megaphone still shouted pleas of surrender, but it cut off when Kaneki pushed his kagune out, slamming the long and heavy tentacle onto the nearest car, scattering the investigators away. Pushing his exhausted body at its limit he jumped over the human barrier with the aid of his rinkaku. Engines roared as they gave him chase down the streets. Kaneki whished he could disappear in the midst of the crowd, but they already fled from the CCG, scared by the sirens and gyrophares. He was a sitting duck., his legs could not carry further away, he would just collapse and be an easy prey for Quinques. What would they do with him? A quick dispatch? Or would he be sent to Cochlea, for interrogation or be experimented on? The latter would only be if they knew they were chasing Centipede, which didn't seem to be the case. Those investigators weren't carrying the same arsenal as they were during the Anteiku raid. None of them were ready to face a SS rated ghoul. But maybe this was their lucky day...  
Terror blinded his vision and his scattered mind couldn't plan a quick that would save his life.  
His freedom truly had been short-lived.  
Tires screamed at the other side of the boulevard he had just turned into, the red and blue lights seared in his retinas. The addition of three police cars formed a barricade he didn't dare to cross now that he no longer had the element of surprise. He dodged into a narrow alley, one where they would be forced to pursue him on foot, his rinkaku hacking every obstacles out of way as he shakily ran through the thin dark corridor... It's then he realized how treacherous that escape route was.  
Orders were shouted behind him, diriging the half-ghoul's attention to the doves who stood at the end of the alley, the streetlights behind cutting their silhouette into a shadowy outline. He couldn't tell how many there were, or how many guns were pointed at him, but when the air cracked with gunshots a bullet sank into his left tigh and another one passing straight through his shoulder, breaking the clavicle in the process, he knew they were winning the hunt.  
A scream ripped out of his throat and his legs buckling, Kaneki fell like a puppet with its strings cut off. The cobbled ground scrapped his face and arms and tore a few holes in his old clothes. Frozen, as if his body truly believed it had died, Kaneki was too afraid to even flex a muscle. But the bullet nailed into his flesh felt like red-hot iron... He couldn't feel the wounds healing.  
But instincts begged him to move. He tried helping his tired body with his kagune, but red tendrils only gave a pitiful twitch before ebbing away. Kaneki gritted hist teeth, heart drumming in fear as he rembered the feeling of RC suppressants coursing through his veins.  
The doves were chattering not too far away, he heard two approaching cautiously, deploying their Quinques when they realized their prey survived the gunshots. Kaneki tried to throw a murderous glare at them, but the fear that shook him blew his cover. They brought their weapon into defensive position, eyes wide: they now knew who they were facing. One of them grabbed their radio warning their superior: "Confirmed visually, the target is a high rated ghoul: the SS rated Centipede."  
Kaneki snarled and spat at them, cursing his luck. Not only did the CCG now knew he was a ghoul, but connected his face to his alias. His public life was officially over. At least he would be able to keep Hinami company 24/7, he realized with a pang. He rose to a knee and backed away as much as the pain would allow him to, leaving a trail of blood behind him. The radio crackled and a voice shouted from the other end. "Order hasn't changed, target elimination required." The two investigators' faces hardened, ready for anything as they approched the downed ghoul.  
He still didn't wish to kill humans, but Kaneki braced himself to at least go down fighting. Just as he was ready to pounce on them first, the pavement exploded and they disappeared behind a curtain of dust, rubble and flashes of light. Rocks hit the half-ghoul across the forehead, splitting the skin and hair stood on end with the strange electrical aura that hung around him. The explosion reminded him of a rare type of Ukakus Touka once mentioned... and it somehow felt famaliar...  
He didn't have the time to ponder on it any longer, a hand grabbed him from behind by the collar and was pressed against a broad chest. He briefly struggled against the vice-like grip his savior had on him, had on him, before the dizziness from bloodloss and being jostled almost made him faint. He could only hold onto the trench coat to dear life as the mysterious man dragged him throught a maze of obscure streets, blurring their trace to the doves.  
Their frenzied escape ended in front of a parked car on a quiet street, except for the two dunkards of the opposite side of the road, it seemed unreal to Kaneki that he had been a second away from saying goodbye to the world just two minutes ago. He rose his eyes to his savior and the blood washed of his face. His weak legs gave out and tears flooded his eyesight. He wanted to sob at the despair that pooled in his gut, scream at the tragedy that was his life, he wanted to fight against the monster, the Shinigami, that captured him again, but he was too exhausted to keep on fighting. The CCG knew his face, Anteiku was done for, all of his friends dead or hiding. He had nowhere to go to or a place to call home.  
And now his hopes of freedom were gone. His eyelids drooped, the mercy of unconsciousness settling over him. Arima Kishou took advantage of his docility and threw him across the back seat in a hurry. Kaneki vaguely heard the engine rumbling before he slipped into the void.


	8. Pardon

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ......  
> ......I'm sorry for the wait. I got no excuses...  
>  (Un-betead)

Streetlights streamed across the roof of the car like a zoetrope and the muffled rumble of the engine lulled the injured ghoul in and out of sleep. The pain of the wound on his back accompanied every time he bobbed out of consciousness. He was certain he was bleeding out on the backseat he laid on.  
The car smelled new and expensive and from further away was wafting an enticing human scent that made his stomach clench and mouth salivate. He vaguely noticed that he was hungry and that eating would appease the pain of his gunshot wound.  
Kaneki was dragged from his drowsiness when the seat dipped under a new weight and a shadow fell over him. He noticed the car had stopped on the side of the road.  
The thoughts of 'food' fled his mind and fear thrummed in his chest when hands flipped him onto his stomach without a warning. Cold fingers pushed away his tattered clothes, revealing his bloody back. Kaneki struggled to pry away the fingers that inched towards the gunshot wound just below his left ribs. The cold voice of Arima Kishou scolded and pinned the ghoul's hands against the seat.  
Kaneki's muffled scream filled the compartment when the digits dug into his injured flesh and he bit into the leather below him. But the hurtful hands left quickly and he could finally breath again. Looking over his shoulder he saw Arima ogling a small metal bullet, glinting eerily red under the streetlights.  
Despite the hard gaze the Shinigami directed at him, the hands that carded through his hair, ruffling the sweat drenched strands, expressed warmth.  
"Rest", he whispered.

\---

Kaneki didn't struggle when he was dropped on the sofa the next morning, he only stared emptily at the shackle that circled his right ankle, the thick chain attached the heavy couch leg. Even though he was certain he could free himself with his ghoulish strength, he no longer had the energy nor the will to try.  
His escapade to freedom proved to be useless. Anteiku was a thing of the past, his group was disbanded and everyone he knew scattered and into hiding while he was kept in a different ward...  
He wasn't even sure they were still alive...  
The thought was somber and he cradled his knees to his chest. He purposefully ignored the familiar coffee mug the dove put on the low table before him, the warm and sweet scent of coffee teased his nose and hungry stomach, but didn't move to take his drink. Kaneki felt Arima Kishou's stern eyes weigh down down on him... like a disappointed mentor. The dove didn't say anything and when their silence stretched into an uncomfortable zone, he flicked on the TV on some anime channel. Kaneki didn't watch it, but the overly dramatic voices, loud sound effects and music distracted him from the dark cloud that hung over his head.  
"Your coffee will get cold." Kaneki noticed the warning in Arima's voice. 'Don't let yourself go berserk from hunger'.  
So he did. The luke-warm coffee happily filled his gargling stomach, but didn't ease the tangy taste of despair in his mouth. The RC supplements in the drink slowly at repairing the itchy wound on his back.  
"How did the CCG find me?" he asked cradling the mug between his fingers.  
"The employees at the fast-food restaurant you visited, noticed something off about you." explained Arima who was lazily preparing himself breakfast. It smelled terrible to the ghoul.  
"Dirty clothes, unusual white hair, fidgety... While you were on the phone, the manager went to the back and called the headquarters. It was easy to find you after that."  
Kaneki bit his lip and took the last sip from his coffee. The dove collected the mug and joined him on the couch with his bowl of cereal. Kaneki shrunk onto himself even more, fearing reprimand, but the man seemed focused on the show on TV, but when he sensed the ghoul's eyes on him, he fixed his own on Kaneki. Skin paled from lack of sleep, hair mussed and bags under the eyes: evidence that the man spent an all-nighter to snatch back the runaway ghoul. Not to forget that his cheeks were puffed out from a mouthful of cereal. He truly was different than what Kaneki remembered when he first awoke here, confused, scared and blind. But it didn't change the fact that this man is an enemy, one that could in the snap of a finger, decide if he lives or dies.  
And Kaneki didn't wish to end like one the bodies that littered the field of corpses in V14.  
"Are you going to put a muzzle and the Vest on me again?"  
"No. You destroyed them and I don't want to risk stealing another set. Anyway I think you learned your lesson, doesn't it?"   
Kaneki nodded after hesitating.  
"Was it worth it? Running away?"  
An answer wasn't needed, they both knew and somehow when the dove's fingers absent-mindedly placed a few askew strands on Kaneki's nape, he knew the dove forgave him.


	9. Crumble

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> un-betaed.

The telephone had kept ringing non-stop and it bugged Kaneki who just kept rising the volume of the television to mask the incessant shrill sound. He had tried to tell his captor to pick up the goddamn phone and end his suffering, but Arima was listening on some sort of video conference with his headphones on and couldn't hear anything.  
Kaneki wished he could find the courage to just distract the man from whatever he was doing, without stepping out of line. That video conference seemed important enough for him to shoo away Kaneki when he tapped his arm to get his attention.  
Kaneki found himself, two hours later, laying face down on the couch, away from the loud TV which was blaring some korean drama and he stayed the further away from the phone that he could. He kept gaping his mouth like a fish, stretching his sore jaw muscles. The memory of the muzzle still hasn't faded away and it was like he could exercise his jaw on meat with the liquid diet the dove put him through.  
With a sigh, Kaneki rolled onto his back, pressing the pillow deep onto his face, groaning, as the phone chimed again.  
This was the 25th time in 2 hours...  
What wouldn't he give for ripping the headphones off Arima's head and throwing the phone at him.  
The memory of Narukami's bolts were enough to stop from acting on his impulse.  
His grumbling was cut short when the door shot open like a canon ball and Kaneki scrambled away like a startled deer, shrunken against the sofa's armrest.  
A man, a somehow familiar silhouette: tall, long hair framing his gaunt face like curtains and wearing clean marine costume. He had a slight air of insanity.  
A dove.  
Arima finally peeked his head out of his office door frame, his headphones around his neck.  
"Arima-san we kept calling you since noon. We had a meeting scheduled to start half an hour ago about dealing with the me--"  
The man froze as he spotted Kaneki who wished nothing less than just disappear at that instant.  
His face contorted in pure horror, eyes bulging, jaw hanging, skin paling as he pieced in Kaneki's appearance: uncanny white hair, black nails digging deeply in the sofa...and his kakugan was probably showing from his surprise.  
"ARIMA!!" he shouted, jumping back as if stung, mouthing air like a fish.  
The half-ghoul's caretaker had stood up and shut the door behind his colleague, silencing the oncoming conversation to the neighbours.  
"Ken, return to your room."  
Kaneki didn't hesitate, nor had he the time to wonder at the weird use of his name, made a bee-line to the spare bedroom, closing the door after he entered.  
"WHY ARE YOU HOUSING A-A--A?!"  
The voice shook the walls and Kaneki cringed.  
"Marude-san..." the Shinigami said, his voice undisturbed. Kaneki could barely hear his voice over the din of the television. "You don't want the neighbours hearing about another controversy about the CCG"  
"Arima", Marude paused breathing in his fury and continuing in a rumbling voice. "Harbouring a ghoul... What went through your head..."  
"..."  
"It's Centipede, isn't it? The ghoul we almost cornered three nights ago."  
"He is. You've read his file, you know this is no ordinary ghoul."  
Marude humphed angrily "I know what he is." Kaneki shivered at the tone. "But it doesn't change the fact it's a monster and poses great threats to society. The chase could've ended in tragedy, thanks your stupidity.  
The silence that followed chilled him down to bones and dread seeped into his chest. His throat tightened. His panicked mind could barely grasp the scale of what was happening. The thrumming of fear in his chest and the tremors in his hands that rested on the door frame alerted him that the make-believe safety would soon crumble. As if losing his family wasn't enough for his cruel fate.  
What were they going to do to him? Terminate him? Would Arima intervene? Probably.  
The man still wanted to keep his trophy.  
The voices were muffled as they walked away from the entrance. Arima replied to his boss' accusations, but Kaneki couldn't make the words. The muted conversation remained heated for a few minutes, till a furious footfall thundered out the house.  
Time suspended in silence, he remained frozen, unsure if it was safe to leave his room. Arima decided for him when he opened the door partially, making the ghoul back away. The Shinigami's face was vacant save for that worn out look behind his eyes.  
"I need to go to the headquarters, to fix this mess."  
"..."  
"I'm locking all issues and drawing all curtains... stay quiet and turn off the lights at nightfall."  
And with that he left, without letting the ghoul voice out his worry.

\---

As ordered, the small house was plunged into darkness at nightfall. The last dying rays of sunlight, the few that could slip through the curtains, painted eerily quiet living room in shades of fire.  
Kaneki ignored the muted TV, which was some documentary channel, as he stared intently at the door, hoping his captor would come back with good news. That he wouldn't be put down.  
The urge to runaway was strong, but with nowhere to go and only coffee, spiked with Rc liquids, to fuel his body, he wouldn't go far in this unknown Ward.  
He hoped and waited till darkness covered him completely. Much later, the lights that streaked across the closed curtains weren't Arima's car headlights, but revolving lights flashing red and blue. Multiple car engines purred into the driveway, their tires squeaking.  
Guns clattered as they were drawn and the front door crashed open for the second time that day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M BACK!!
> 
> This was actually supposed to be stretched into 2 chapters, but I changed my mind.  
> Soooo I have news  
> this is the last chapter  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> just kidding, the next one is XD


	10. Chrysalis

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait, I've been busy and struggling to recover this chapter. My laptop died with all my files aboard :/  
> un-betaed and written while exhausted. (will be edited)

Time was frozen.  
And if he closed his eyes, he could almost believe he was back in that cramped study with only silence as a companion, until he could hear the front door open.  
Except, no door opened here. No hands brought comfort when his bound limbs hurt. Once he was queasy from sedative, those new hands grabbed him and pulled him out of this minuscule cocoon, his timeless world. They'd wheel him out on a gurney to a cold stainless steel room with stern doctors and nurses who didn't dare to look at him.  
Time was vivid in those moment. The flaring surgical lights searing his retinas as they splayed his unresponsive body across a surgery table. They never bothered with a screen when they harvested from him, displaying a macabre spectacle, stealing kagune and kakuhou from his flesh, gory session after gory session. He wished he could erase those moments from his memory, forget their ecstatic expression after each surgery, forget the glee and child-like excitement on the lead scientist's face.  
He never felt this inhuman.  
He was considered less than a ghoul.  
An object.  
_A trophy._  
A vulgar trophy carefully placed on a shelf. His tiny shelf was this one-way glass cocoon equipped with a harness and a plethora of needles and tubes, feeding his exhausted body to full health for the next harvest.  
_...like Rize..._  
He morbidly wondered how many quinques they successfully made out of him, how many innocent ghouls have lost their lives indirectly to him.  
Perhaps they were cutting down monsters with those quinques, perpetuating his legacy even though he departed from that world for this tiny cell.  
The cold metal tube weighting down on his back stung a little.  
He wondered if had visitors today... gawking at him like a trophy behind a prestigious display case.  
But he had no energy to glare at them through the one-way glass in front of him, nor that he could see them anyway.  
He wanted to see a familiar face, one that wasn't hidden behind a surgical mask and with eyes that only saw him as a disposable good. He reluctantly wished Arima could visit even though he might have only seen him as a trophy too. At least his hands were warm, even though he hurt him in the past. He forgave the dove as he had given the half-ghoul a last chance at feeling human and realizing how wrong he had been.  
Even it was twisted to wish for this fake freedom, he couldn't stop himself from longing, but that was as unlikely to happen as seeing his old friends again. The CCG knew what their precious bird had done: Harboring a ghoul. Felony for an investigator.  
Kaneki doubted he would get arrested for it, he knew about the man's reputation, the CCG couldn't allow themselves to lose their legendary investigator. Perhaps he had returned to his full-time hunting, forgetting about him? But Arima said he had been special... he wouldn't let him alone... right?  
Perhaps seeing him was prohibited and Kaneki felt utter despair lodged down his throat and he choked out a sob.  
_Pain_  
His reality rippled and a scream shred his throat: Light, it singed his retinas and still burned through his eyelids when he clenched them shut, teeth bared. He hissed at the pain, fisting his hands tightly somewhere in the cushioned contraptions that suspended him.  
_Why light? Why more pain? Am I dying...?_  
His confusion voiced itself as a yelp and a long whine as he raised his head and braced his tortured eyes against the light.  
The one-way glass had opened, revealing a scientist flanked by two burly guards with quinques.  
This wasn't time for surgery yet, he was still weak from the last harvest. Kaneki vehemently shook his head as hands fiddled with the harnesses immobilizing him. He weakly struggled against the arms that gripped him, bracing himself against the impending injection that would leave vulnerable as a washed up fish.  
Except none came, nor did they dump him on a gurney. They cautiously unplugged him from the mess of tubes sinking down his flesh and righted him. His head still hurt from the light and could barely mask the confusion etching his face when his cold feet met the freezing floor and his knees almost buckled under his own weight. It looked like an hospital chamber, his pod hidden by privacy screen. He had never had the chance to see the lab correctly before, drugged up as he was. But now he could vaguely see the silhouette of another cocoon on the other side of the screen.  
He wasn't alone in this terrible fate.  
"The restraints if you please," enquired the scientist to one the guards. Kaneki, absorbed with his surroundings, didn't even flinch when they clasped shackles around his wrists and strangely familiar vest around his torso.  
_Doesn't this bring back memories..._  
He nervously glanced back at his cell. It looked like an empty cicada's shell and almost wanted to sneak back in when he felt the glares of the guards upon him. It almost looked more comfortable than whatever they'd planned for him when they dragged him out.  
He stiffened when he felt something draped across his shoulder and looked down to see a loose prisoner tunic covering his nude frame. They hadn't bothered with clothes since the surgeries began as his blood would have continuously soiled his garbs. Now, the fabric felt alien across his skin and Kaneki feebly tried to keep to tunic closed with his cuffed hands.  
"Tsk, this is ridiculous," whispered the scientist between gritted teeth and Kaneki's sensitive picked up her comment. She lifted her eyes to the guards and pointed to a nearby security gate her chin. "You know the exit."

\---

He couldn't help but crack his fingers once left alone, sitting on a rickety chair in front of large ghoul-proof bay window, in a small interrogation room.  
His nerves were set aflame by fear and anxiety. The guards had been rough, manhandling him like a bag of trash, dragging him around the labyrinth of corridors in the prison now recognized as Cochlea.  
He had thought it was the end. He didn't know much about how the CCG got rid of their prisoners, but he had been certain that he would be brought to a room to be gassed or cut up in pieces. It was stupid, he now realized, they had had all the time in the world while he was cooped up in that pod.  
And Kaneki's immediate future was still fogged by uncertainty.  
A figure walked into his field of view. Tall and massive with files under his arm. The half-ghoul's eyes widened in recognition and blurred with tears. His hands gripped at his clothes  
"You look terrible..."  
Kaneki's smirk was twisted by the sobs of relief.  
Arima chuckled and dragged his own chair back on his side of the window, sitting down.  
The dove looked worn out, face ashen, though a small smile graced his lips and reached his eyes.  
_Tough time too..._  
Arima pulled out documents from his file case and Kaneki's mood soured. From lab rat to informant. At least, if his interrogator was Arima, he would see a familiar face through glass. An inkling of sunlight through a cloudy sky.  
But again, the man surprised him:

_"The CCG has an offer for you."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the first multi-chap I finish, I took this prompt on a whim, without even planning anything and I plan to rework a few chapters in the future for a smoother reading.  
> Thank you for the kind comments, it means a lot to me.  
> I wish I could leave a longer note, but it's really late here :p

**Author's Note:**

> I cannot guarantee when the second chapter will be out, because I got the last chapters written, but not the middle *sigh*
> 
> N.B: uuumm, I'm quite a noob to posting stuff, where do I find a beta reader?


End file.
